I'm happy to help. When you click on the printer icon on your desktop and you get an error message that the installation is not complete; that is what I mean by it not working. Take your time and get some sun and exercise. Refreshing the OS of the computer is the best solution by far and seems to be the only plausible step to take next, if you are willing. Here is a document to help you with that:
--Refresh Your PC to Resolve Problems (Windows 8)--
For first time installs, I always found a USB installation to be the best route to try to take first because then you can do a USB to wireless installation, whereas there is no wireless to USB installation if the first attempt fails.
For this attempt, it is up to you whether you want to do wireless or USB. It will make absolutely no difference and I personally have found the wireless installation to be faster as far as the time it takes. Even installing the software on the PC first is almost a wasted step. A printer connection is required so I suggest if you're going to do it, try to finish it all in one round.
But to directly respond to something you mentioned in the "Question" portion of your reply - nope, not a full scrub; just Uninstall, Disk Cleanup, reboot, install. I am trying to avoiding "flogging a dead horse" here, please excuse the cliche but I could think of no better way to describe it.
Lastly, you are somewhat correct about it being too busy with its own drivers because when you plug in the USB cord into a Windows 8 computer, it immediately starts searching for the best driver, sometimes even while installing the printer's software.
As I said before, take your time and have fun. I am here whenever you are ready. Thank you for your informative reply.
Have a great week!